


I Found A Reason For Me

by ImnotTHATgay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, angers sex, kinda angry fluff, levi is asexual, middle child Jean, really gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImnotTHATgay/pseuds/ImnotTHATgay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirstein has been pinned to the very well known "Eren Yeager and Jean Kirstein hate each other" and if you said that to either of them two years ago, they would have happily agreed. But you don't know the effect people have on you until it's ripped from you and scared on your body. And let's just say. Eren Yeager is a  scar that has set on Jeans whole being</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so take it easy on me! I might not or might continue making updates

Sometimes .. People never change. And sometimes that's good, right? Sometimes they do change and sometimes it's for the better. But I wasn't ready for this change.  
I wasn't ready for the way he changed, I remember the way things used to be between us... Hell everyone in this small ass town does, but I can't accept how he changed and why he did it.  
Every time I think about it... It makes me feel like a huge part of my life was ripped from me. I didn't know what to do without having a reason to be.. Me. Standing here... Right now with my arms around him, trying to take in everything I'm seeing I can't help but to accept it. 

I had done nothing my whole life but build my personality on my relations with this boy... The broken boy in my arms and I still can't believe what I'm doing. I must sound like an idiot.. I have no idea what I'm thinking right now. Everything Is so clouded and I can't organize my thoughts..

"Jean..?" A scratchy voice comes from the other side of my door "you need to get up, mom's home" 

His voice rips me from my nightmare. A cold sweat causes my limbs to stick uncomfortably to the sheet on my bed. I hated summers in Washington. It rained almost everyday anyway so any hot weather just made it humid. 

I try and push my disturbing dream out of my mind for the amount of time I get ready. The trudge to my bathroom was a journey. I tripped over my cat (which led to more time wasted apologizing to my annoyed cat) , and even ran into the bathroom door. 

"Hurry up in their!" I yell as I lean against the wall. The door to my right opens and a gremlin comes into the light. No I'm kidding, kinda.  
"You guys are so rude" he glares at me "it's summer vacation, go back to bed Jean" he rubs his tired eyes. 

"Dude, it's like..." I didn't even know what time it was "well mom is home. Joshua is the one who woke me up" he argues with his unpleasant little brother. 

"Listen Jason" I squat down "I know you have become resentful towards mom.. But she is our mother. You have to learn to get over it okay?" I knew he wasn't mad about being woken up, he was nervous about having to spend summer with mom.  
I couldn't blame him. For eight of his thirteen years of life had been full of all the fucked up shit. And for a boy who had never got any attention... It was understandable. 

He doesn't understand my sympathy, and pushes my hands away "don't talk to me about her.." He walks back into his room and closes the door. The bathroom door opens and Joshua walks out with a towel around his waist.

"God dammit Josh" I growl "you wake me up and then take a shower?"  
"Did you have another dream about your little missing boyfriend?" He flicks my forehead. 

"He wasn't my boyfriend!" I yell, wishing he'd stop using that against me "you know how I feel about him!"  
"Then why do you care so much that he left. Without telling you anything, without telling anyone anything? Maybe he was kidnaped. Or murdered" his broad shoulders shrug. 

"Shut up!" I yell, my voice cracking shamefully.  
"Both of you shut up!" A muffled cry comes from Jason's room. 

"Don't say anything to mom about what I fucking told you okay? I'm going to keep trusting you okay? Don't blow it" I mumble and walk into my room again.  
I actually decide to get dressed and actually leave the house today. 

I hurry and try to leave without attracting attention to myself. She catches me though "Jean..? Is that you?" You could hear her flip flops shuffle across the tile floor. She comes around the corner from the kitchen and smiles a little "Jean.."

Of course. Her hair looks like she knotted it on the top of her head, or you could call it a messy bun.  
She was wearing a tank top, with another one underneath. Along with her bra straps it looked the usual way. Trashy. Her jeans had little gems on the sides. "Hey mom..." My head hung low "can I go on a walk?"  
I ask, pulling my jacket on over my head, it looked cloudy outside, again so I pushed a beanie on my head, covering up my head in case it rained. I didn't really wait for an answer before walking out. 

My eyes glance directly at the empty house across the street and my chest contracts for a little. I never used to care about Eren before he went missing.. So it isn't like we had this romantic relationship. My feelings would have been more understandable if that was the case.

In fact, people actually thought I was the reason he went missing. That's how hateful we acted to each other, people actually thought I had killed him or something like that.  
But I miss him. That dumb kid. Goofy ass smile.. Grass green eyes, the little crease in his forehead every time he'd yell at me...  
Fuck him and my feelings.  
•  
'Eren Jeager, missing 2 weeks ago. If found or have any suspicions please call 911'  
I glare at the boy on the poster.  
I keep my eyes on my feet as I walk down the path through the woods.  
I never used to take walks until he went missing. Maybe I was hoping he'd show up on the path and punch me in the face and scream 'got you back!' . 

Hell. I wish he would. 

"Jean?" A familiar voice says in shock. 

Jeans eyes gaze up and the corners of his vision goes black. Frustration fills his body as the chief of police tips his hat at Jean.  
"I want you to be careful now. And keep an eye out for.. Well you know" he smiles sadly. 

Jean glares and nods "sure thing Officer Hans" he walks passed the man and farther down the path.  
Jean stops in the middle of the path and looks down.

"There is no way he got kidnaped" Jean shook his head. 'Eren wouldn't have gone easily' he thought. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. But Jean had other ideas in mind.  
His father was insane. He always thought something was wrong with his kids, telling them they had depression to ADHD. That cause Carla to divorce the lunatic. 

After that happened, Carla got in a car accident and died on impact. Eren had to stay with his cousins. And from what I heard from Sasha, his cousins where the biggest assholes. 

"Poor Eren.." Jean chokes. He puts the pieces together. 'He didn't just fall off the face of the earth...' His eyes widen at the thought and his mind races to all the possible places he had to go. He didn't have any money... Or any friends good at keeping secrets...

 

Jean got out his phone and hurriedly scrolled down to his ex's contact. He pushes it and held it to his ear. His heart beat fast with anxiety as his feet paced back and forth. 

There is a click and a soft "hello..?" 

"Mikasa... I need your one hundred percent honesty. He may not be my biggest fan. But.. It's been tearing me apart. Please tell me Eren is with you" 

He clenched his fist, the pained long pause almost killed him.  
"Do you want to talk to him?" 

That time Jean wobbled and fell to his knees, a sigh broke through his lips and he shook. He was over reacting right?  
No. Yes. Wait maybe.

"Will he speak to me..?" Jean didn't even try to contain his excited time. At least Mikasa couldn't judge him right in front of his face. 

"I'll see... Jean. I'm worried about him. Since I went to collage. He has been... Different. Just... Don't get him to excited okay? Don't fight" 

Jean nod, then rolls his eyes at himself for not realizing, she can't see you. He wets his lips.  
"Okay" 

Jean clenched his chest as he heard Mikasa's distant voice ask with a soft tone "Eren? Someone wants to talk to you" 

Muffled whines came in a questions and Jeans heart skipped a beat. 

"It's Jean." She was interrupted by louder mumbling.  
"Has anyone else called for you? He sounds desperate" is what he Thinks Mikasa said.  
Shit. Now Eren would make fun of him, maybe even hang up the phone.  
Jean pulls the phone away, ready to hit end when some clacks and ruffling were heard and a long sigh. 

"Jean?"


	2. Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeans a hopeless romantic.  
> Eren's still an asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Don't give up on me! It'll get better deeper into the story I PROMISE

Jean didn't know where he went wrong but before he knew it, Eren was crying and yelling at him at the same time.  
Jean was trying to hold back from the words; "I miss you", "I need you", and "you should come home" ... But when Jean said "I don't know why you'd leave me" he was not only embarrassed but trying to fix it by shouting "I mean US". 'Seriously Jean? 'Us?' Really?' He mentally scram at himself. 

"Jean? Are you even listening?" Eren's voice was a little less upset, and a little more aggravated.  
"No.. I was thinking I'm sorry" Jean stumbled over his own words.  
"Can you repeat yourself..?" His breath was shaken, causing all the words following his slip up were audibly shaky as well. 

"Why do you care..?" 

Jean knew that Eren was talking so much that wasn't possible all he had been saying. But Jean wanted to answer it none the less. Although.. How could he? He couldn't just come out and say; "Because I think I'm hella gay for you" cause we all know that would either come out with a dirty confession or a 'because uh who am I going to fight with anymore?' 

The sandy hair colored mess cleared his raw throat, trying to stop the shakiness of his chest.  
"I... Uh..." He breathed heavily 'Cmon Jean! What's the worst he could say!?' Well he could say a lot of shit. 

"I don't know... I just really care.. I want to know you are safe and that you.. You plan on coming back?" Smooth. Really fucking smooth. Jean felt like dancing because that went so well.  
"I don't" 

Jeans heart dropped to his feet, causing his ears to ring a little.  
"W- why not?!" Shit he sounded a little to worried there. 

"I mean like.. Why wouldn't you?" Nice save Jean.

"Why would I?" Eren flipped it around. Now it was Jean's issue.  
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Jean could've sworn Eren's voice sounded desperate. As if he needed a reason to come home, because he wanted to come home. 

"Because there are people who care about you here.." Jean croaks, successfully leaving out the word 'I' .  
"Really? Like who Jean? You're the only one of my friends who has actually tried to call me" he sounded pissed again. 

"Then come back for me!" Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no.  
"Jean..."  
'No please don't. I can't take it if you say it' Jeans heart was on edge. It felt like his hole body was made of glass and Eren was pushing on it from every side.  
"Jean I don't uh... Feel like talking anymore"  
How gay did Jean actually sound? Probably very gay. Was that why Eren felt uncomfortable? Not that it was a secret Jean was gay. Everyone knew. So maybe Eren wasn't comfortable. 

Not like that would make sense. Jean didn't just walk in on Eren and some twenty year old basically eating others faces and think "oh hey Eren, just checking in on my obviously Hetero friend." 

Maybe it want the fact that it sounded a little to gay. Maybe it was the fact Eren just didn't like him. It was obvious to anyone. They had tension. Jean wouldn't hold a grudge against someone just for the hell of it, and Eren wouldn't be an asshole if he didn't have a reason.  
There was a reason the two didn't get along. But was that reason big enough to come between them now? 

Of course it was. Jean had seriously fucked up and Eren hadn't made it any better.  
They were stupid, weren't thinking. Jean avoided thinking about that for now. 

"Hey Jean?"  
"Yea..?"  
There was a long pause before a sigh, then Eren's voice began to once again corse through Jean's ears. 

"Don't tell anyone where I am. Please" Eren sounded serious. So Jean was going to take it seriously.  
Before he even had time to completely say goodbye. Eren hung up, leaving Jean confused and hopeless.


	3. We'll get there someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a little description of Jeans Siblings.

"Hey, where were you?" Joshua asks, shoveling a huge spoon full of cereal into his mouth, milk dripping from the sides of his lips. Gross.   
"I was on a walk, I told you" Jean shrug off his jacket, hanging it on the rack before taking his shoes off. 

"Well mom told me to tell you th-" the chorus of Teenage Dream by Katy Perry starts playing from my brothers pocket.   
It was funny the first time Jean found out that was his ringtone, but now it's just annoying.

He reaches in to his pocket and slides his thumb across the screen. "Hello?" His voice grumbled.   
"Yea this is Josh" he sounded annoyed already.   
"You didn't send me my schedule bro!" After a few more sarcastic words from Josh, he hangs up and groans. 

"The said I didn't have to work today god dammit" he trudged upstairs to his room, slamming the door.   
There is not a single day that boy doesn't complain about his life.   
Eighteen years old and still deciding weather or not he wants to go to collage. He smokes pot like occasionally but not enough to get in the way of life. Surprisingly, he is bisexual, and Jean is pretty sure that the reason his fourteen year old younger brother says that he is as well. Either that or he is going through the middle school sexuality phase. 

Jean never really talks about his sexuality around his family. Even if it is full of a bunch of experimental Homos. Jean never actually felt comfortable.

Walking over to the table where Joshua had abandoned a bowl of Honey Combs, Jean responsibly takes care of it for his slob of a adult brother.

"Is Jason up yet?" Jean asks himself, eyes catching a glimpse of his brothers pill organizer. The Friday slot was full so It was obvious that Jason wasn't up yet.   
"Jason!" Jean yelled. "You have to get up now! It's like" Jeans eyes look to the time that was displayed above the microwave "twelve o'clock already!" 

There was a pound above Jeans head, giving him the sense that either Jason was woken up or that he was-  
"I'm already awake!" Comes a muffled yell.  
Already awake.   
"Then come take your pills!"

Jean heard racing down the stairs. Joshua hurriedly grabs his jacket. He was in his work uniform, it had stains on the sleeves. A big 'K-mart' symbol across the back of his shirt threw off the whole 'black outfit' thing. And it looked tacky too.   
"Bye! When mom gets back, tell her I had to go into work" he slams the front door after him. 

Jason shuffles into the kitchen, grabbing his pill container from the counter and pops open today's tab. His fingers shake a little as he tilts the two pills into his palm.   
He looked troubled as he swallowed them down with a gulp of water. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Jean asks, wiping his hands on the towel hanging from the over handle.   
"You seem kinda shaken up" he says, leaning against the granite with his arms crossed. 

"It's nothing.." Jason's blue eyes falter. He is the only one who ended up with their mom's blue eyes and golden blonde hair. Jean and Josh both got their dad's light brown eyes and sandy dirty blond hair. 

"You're lying. C'mon, why can't you ever talk to me Jason? But you're always talking to Josh. Why?" Jean wanted some type of relationship with his younger brother, but Jason wasn't making that easy.   
"It's because he understands my position" 

"Is it because Joshua is bi?" Jean asks without thinking. He didn't think he was sounding insensitive, until he said it.   
"Maybe! Also, you never talk about your feelings. All you do is go to school, go out, and the shut yourself in your room!" 

"You're one to talk! When was the last time you hung out with me and Josh?! You never do because you're 'never in the mood' " Jean makes a mocking tone when he mimics his brother.   
"I'm going out with Izzy and Ferdinand later. Izzy wanted to go see a movie" Jason, like always, ignores Jeans retaliation.   
"But I wanna talk to you Jason" Jean makes an attempt one more time.   
Instead, the blonde haired boy turns on his heel and bolts up to his room.   
________

Jean gave up on trying to do the dishes when he got bored of them. He walks back to his room, closing the door and groaning at the loud music coming from Jason's room.  
Jean decides to call Mikasa again, to try and have an actual conversation with her about Eren. 

The phone rings about four times before a click was heard. Jean's luck must have run out because it's Eren who answers.   
"Yes Jean?" Irritated. It's defiantly Irritation that is in Eren's voice. 

"Oh uh hey Eren. I was actually wanting to talk to Mikasa...?" Jean knew he sounded a little to sketchy. 

"She isn't home. She went shopping. What do you need?"   
Shit. What was it Jean needed? He needed Eren to come home but he doubt the boy would agree.   
"I just wanted.. Uh.. To ask her if she.. Uh"  
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.   
"If you are doing okay. So uh, are you?" Wow Jean. You really deserve that 'Smoothest Man Ever' award. 

"I'm doing fine Jean.." His voice softened a little, becoming a little less irritated.   
"Will you actually talk to me Eren...? Please?" If he didn't sound so desperate, there was no way Eren wouldn't have hung up. But sadly, Jean did sound desperate.   
________

"Goodnight Eren..." Jean sighed, biting his lip a little.   
"Goodnight Jean" Eren sounded just as happy as Jean did, which gave him a little reassurance. 

Jean took the phone away from his face and set it down, glancing at the clock. It was seven. Eren and Jean had talked for three hours about literally everything they could talk about. Jean of course didn't mention the very awkward and slightly embarrassing crush he had on Eren. But he'd get to that part someday..


	4. Perfect exception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren likes Likin Park  
> Jeans is still really gay

"Eren? Are you gay?" Mikasa deadpans, causing Eren to slowly look over at her with shock.   
"Why do you ask...?" He blushes, rubbing the back of his neck with his wet hands. It was a weird question to ask in the middle of doing dishes, but then again, when do they ever get to talk? Mikasa was always in classes or shopping with friends (not that she ever bought anything).   
"I'm serious Eren" she turns to him, shutting off the sink "are you gay?" She repeats.   
Eren's chests tightens, he honestly didn't know. Eren had always thought of himself being straight, he had even dated one of the prettiest girls at school back home. Although that ended in her telling him she was a lesbian.   
"Mikasa.. I don't know" Eren sighs, hoping she didn't push any harder. Thankfully, she didn't. She was usually good at sensing people's emotions, Eren figured she could feel how uncomfortable he was.   
_______________

Eren was so bored without Mikasa at the apartment. Drawing was a lost cause because Eren sucked at drawing.   
"Jean is a good drawer" Eren found himself pouting. Although his voice didn't sound upset, it sounded like a teenage girl gushing over some boy.   
No. Eren definitely was not gushing over Jean Kirstein. No way. Eren hated Jean, right? Well, not as much as he used to, but feelings don't just change after talking to someone for a couple hours... Right?   
To tell the truth, Eren didn't know how to feel about Jeans new sudden interest in Eren. At first it came as a shock, but soon, Eren found himself waiting for Jean's name to pop up on the screen of his phone.   
That didn't mean anything though. Right? Eren was just lonely sometimes and Jean was a good person to talk to.   
Okay, well I guess that kinda meant something... But what could Eren do? It made him feel good that someone was actually worried about him. Not that Jean was the first person he'd hope that would be calling him.   
What about Armin..? Sasha? Connie? Even Krista would be worried about him.. Right? No.. Guess not. 

"So let mercy come and wash away what I’ve done I'll face myself  
To-"  
Eren jumps at the loud song playing through his phone. His spirits rise as he sees the displayed name.  
'Jean Kirstein (￣^￣)ゞ 'would like to FaceTime' Whoa. FaceTime? Eren looked like shit! Eren panicked, hitting the answer button.   
'Connecting'   
A static noise was heard before Jeans face appeared on the screen, smiling like an idiot. Eren couldn't help but smile, realizing how stupid he also probably looked, he dropped the happy expression.   
"Hey.." Jeans voice sounded breathless, only causing Eren's chest to tighten.   
"Sup.." Eren failed at the attempt of not smiling, the goofy grin once again making its way to his face.   
"I honestly didn't mean to FaceTime you, but I'm glad I did" Jean launches into his usual rambling.   
"It's nice to see your face. You look good. Don't know why, but I expected you to look like a hippy now, like I don't know maybe you're into nature now. People change" Jean smiles, a beautiful fucking smile and Eren was laughing his ass off at Jean.   
"What the hell goes on inside your head?" Eren says through spurts of giggles.   
"Not sure but I still can't think about Mikasa without thinking she's always like wearing some kind of ninja suit" Jean's shoulders shrug. Eren laughs once more.  
"I think under all the yoga pants and hoodies she actually might be wearing a ninja suit. I think you may be right" Eren's voice has obvious amusement in it. After him and Jean shared s few laughs, Jean's smile fades.

"How are you doing Eren?" Jean asks, causing Eren's smile to also fade away. He let out a deep sigh, running his fingers through his already messy hair.  
"I'm fine Jean.. You don't need to worry about me. I'm not a k-"  
"I think you should consider coming home. Eren we- I miss you"   
Eren's heart stopped. Why did he correct himself, he was about to play off not sounding gay, and then totally took a sharp turn into gay lane.   
Eren smiles sadly. "Jean.. I can't come home when there isn't a life there for me..." Eren wanted to see Jean. They were friends, surprisingly. But Eren couldn't see himself being happy back in Washington.   
"Arizona Is really beautiful Jean.. You should.. Come visit" Eren had a hard time getting those last words out. "It doesn't snow, it's always warm. Mikasa is gone most of the day so.. I doubt she'd mind having you stay here for a week or something" he was getting excited. It was summer. Eren felt stupid for adding the snow part because it wasn't snowing in Washington right now either.   
"And I think Mikasa had a blow up matress around here somewhere, we can set it up in my room and we could totally just go ex-"  
"Eren" Jean interrupts him. Jean looked so upsetting sad..   
"I can't.. My mom is here this summer... I doubt she'd let me go" he smiles sadly. "And where do you think I'd get the money to get out there hu?" 

Eren sighs and groans "but jeaaaaaan" he whines. The whining made Jean want to run to Arizona.  
"I'm sorry.. Hey.. I'll try okay?" Jean tries to give Eren some reassurance. Though, it was painful to know Eren just wanted a friend, and not the way Jean wanted Eren. A friend would do for right now.   
Everyone needs a friend like Eren Jeager. A balance of cute, bratty, innocent, and a little bit of an asshole is perfect. Especially to Jean.


	5. Don't worry. I'm here

Jean couldn't believe Eren had actually wanted him to fly out to Arizona to see him. And he was like... Serious about it too. It made Jean feel so good about his new relationship with Eren. The door bell rang and Jean heard the door next to his bedroom swing open.  
"I'm going to hang out with Izzy and Ferdinand!"

Jean hears a muffled okay from his mom. Mom. Jean didn't have anything against his mom. He just didn't trust her. She was a bad mother and so Josh had to raise Jean and Jason for basically his whole life.  
It wasn't fair for Josh to be stripped of his childhood. It was clear that he was pushed into growing up to quick and that's why Jean cut him so much slack.  
Jeans phone buzzes in his hand and he lifts it in front of his face. 

-Eren Jeager: I'm Bored. Help me.  
-Eren Jeager: like seriously. Either kill me or entertain me 

Jean laughs and slides the messages, unlocking his phone and replying to Eren. 

—You: Stop whining. You're annoying me  
-Eren Jeager: rude. Didn't mean to interrupt your masterbation  
—You: masturbation*  
-Eren Jeager: omg shut up Jean.  
—You: hey do you have skype? 

It took a while for Eren to reply. 

-Eren Jeager: yea, Mikasa has it downloaded on her laptop. Her username is MikasaAckEren... I'm flattered. 

Eren rolled his eyes and opens his laptop, double clicking Skype and typing in the username. Shit. His username was three times as embarrassing. He clicks 'send contact request'  
Almost immediately Eren shows up in his contacts and a message pops up. 

-MikasaAckEren: SRSLY? 'JeanIsultimate?' You're so stupid! XD XD  
—JeanIsultimate: shut up. Do you wanna skype?  
-MikasaAckEren is typing...  
-MikasaAckEren is typing...  
-MikasaAckEren is typing...  
-MikasaAckEren is typing...  
-MikasaAckEren: sure. 

Seriously? It took him that long to write that? Jean said 'later' because he looked awful.  
He jumps to his feet and runs to the bathroom, closing the door. First, he brushes his hair and gels it to look the way he wanted it to. Walking back to his room, he saw his mom downstairs opening the front door. 

"Where are you going?" He asks, leaning against the railing on the overlook walkway thing.  
She stops, obviously not prepared to answer questions.  
"I'm going out with some friends okay dear? Call me if you need anything!" She waves and walks out of the door. 'Friends' usually meant a guy. Gross. 

Jean attempts to push the thoughts of his mothers activities out of his head and focused on Eren. Jean pulls off the two day old shirt he had been wearing and finds a yellow and black flannel in his drawer, pulls it on over his shoulders and buttons it three buttons down. Hoping it exposed a little of his chest.  
As if Jean wasn't jumpy enough, the Skype ringtone played through his computer. 

-'MikasaAckEren wants to Skype!'

Jean jumps into his computer seat and fixes his shirt before clicking the answer button. 

After it connected, Eren's face popped up on his screen. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt that hugged his chest and had a v-neckline. Jean only realized he was staring when Eren laughs.  
"Take a picture. It lasts longer" he jumps straight into teasing Jean.  
"Shut up Jeager" Jean sticks his tongue out.  
"Real mature Jean" Eren says in a mocking tone.  
It isn't as if Jean didn't catch Eren's eyes stealing quick glances at Jean's chest as well. He totally was. 

"Isn't it to hot in Arizona to be wearing a long sleeve?" Jean asks, resting his hand on his palm in front of his computer.  
"I live in Arizona, not the Sahara. But yea, it would be if it wasn't raining outside and Mikasa didn't leave her air conditioner on super high" Eren sounded miserable. 

"It rains in Arizona?" Jean must have sounded like an idiot.  
"Of course it does dumbass! It also snows in Flagstaff. Doesn't snow here, but yea it rains"  
"Well sorry" Jean says dramatically "I've never been to Arizona, so I wouldn't know" Jean couldn't stop smiling, even though it was hurting his face.  
"You should visit Arizona then" Eren attempts to bring up the whole 'come to Arizona because I'm here' deal. 

"Eren. Don't do that. You know I would jump on the first plane to come see you but I don't have the money" Jean sighs. He sounded a little weird but hoped Eren wanted to see him just as much and Jean wanted to see Eren.  
"I have money..." Eren pouts, then gasps "Jean I have money! I could buy you a plane ticket!"  
Jeans eyes widen at Eren's enthusiasm and laughs a little.  
"Even if you did, I doubt my mom would agree to let me go to Arizona alone"  
"Why are you fighting it so much Jean? I really wanna see you and every time you say no I wanna cry" Eren pouts. That made Jeans body go crazy. He literally saw the tears forming in Eren's eyes and panics.  
"Eren! No don't cry... I'll ask her okay?" 

Eren's eyes light up  
"are you serious?"  
Jean only nods "yea. I'll do it tonight when she comes home drunk or something" 

"Thank you Jean.." 

__________

"Hey mom!" Jean fakes the enthusiasm. She had just walked through the door and Jean was sitting on the couch watching some stupid reality tv show.  
"Hi jeanyboo" she slurs, wrapping her arms around Jeans neck from behind the couch and kissing his cheek.  
"How is my boy doing?" She struggled out of her heels and plops down on the couch beside him. 

"Not good mom. You see, my friend In Arizona misses me so bad that h-" his mom would most likely let him go if she thought he was going to go see a girl  
"she... Offered to pay for a plane ticket for me. But.." Cue the fake tears. Jeans eyes began to sting.  
"Oh Jean!" She hugs him. 

"If she is paying for it, you should go! It'd be rude to make her waste her money!" She stumbled over her own words.  
"Really?" He asks, shocked.  
"I mean.. Really?! Thank you so much mom!" He smiles and gets up. "I'll need you to sign some things probably!" He yells as he runs up the stairs.  
He knew she would take it back as soon as she was sober so Jean quickly texted Eren 

You: where is my ticket??

It probably took Eren three seconds to reply. 

-Eren Jeager: you're kidding me!? She said yes!? I'm ganna cry. 

"Awe!" Jean stopped. "Did I seriously just fucking awe..?" Jean covers his face. 

-Eren Jeager: problem. Online the only flights from Washington to Arizona are either Tomorrow at 10 or next week. >:( I'm not waiting that long. 

—You: jesus Eren, you act like we are long lost lovers. 

-Eren Jeager: I just miss you Jean. It's weird thinking its YOU that's basically my best friend now.. •-•

—You: whoa. What's with that face? And I guess tomorrow it okay.

Eren Jeager: problem with my face? •-• •-• •-• 

—You: buy my ticket dumbass.  
__________

Jean tosses his phone on the bed and grabs a old backpack from his closet. He emptied the old papers and shook out the crumbs at the bottom.  
He rolled up some nessasasary cloths that he needed and shoved them in the bag. He didn't know how long he was staying. He didn't even know if Mikasa knew he was coming. 

Could he just show up and say what?  
'Hey I'm going to be staying at your apparent for a week because hey I think I'm in love with your brother! Surprise!' 

No, positively not going to say that.  
As if Jean wasn't already on edge, Joshua comes bursting through his door.  
"Mom told me you're going to Arizona to see a girl? You're lying aren't your? Are you going to see Eren!?" He asks, shaking Jeans shoulders.  
"Shut up! Hey I need a favor..? Could you drive me to the airport?" He asks, Blushing like crazy. Josh takes a step back and smirks.  
"But first-"  
"Josssshh!" Jean whines, knowing josh always wanted some 'reason'.  
"Give me a reason why I should drive you" His eyes danced around Jean's face, although Jean's eyes were anywhere but Josh's. 

"Because.. He really wants me to come out and I really wanna see him"  
"Not good enough"  
"God damn Josh! Please! Don't make me give you a reason. That is the reason!" Jean complains, his voice high annoying. Josh laid off a little, eyeing Jean carefully. He shrugs.

"Fine, I'll drive you to the airport, but I expect you to pay me gas money. That shit is expensive"  
Jean let out a sigh of relief.  
"Thanks josh"  
__________

Jean was up at the asscrack of the morning. He was to excited to sleep. So basically he didn't.  
Glancing over at the brightly illuminated digital red numbers, he smiles. 

"I've got four hours before my plane leaves.. So I have to leave in.. A hour and a half to leave time for anything wrong that happens" Jean was worried that something was going to go wrong, and apparently Eren thought the same thing because he had four texts from him in the passed hour. 

-Eren Jeager: make sure the ticket showed up in your email  
-Eren Jeager: print it out and put it in your wallet! Don't loose it!  
-Eren Jeager: Jean? You still sleeping?  
-Eren Jeager: I'm excited. I'll be at the airport when you land. 

Jeans face flushed with burning pink colors. His smile was to big and cheerful for it being six am.  
The sandy haired boy jumps in the shower, cleaning himself and washing his hair before shamefully letting his mind wander to Eren...  
"Mm..." He let his eyes slide shut and his hand slip down his body. 

Eren...

"Jean?!" Joshes voice comes from the closed bathroom door. Jean yelps and blushes  
"Yes?" His voice was shaken a little, Jean hopped it wasn't detectable over the pouring water.  
"Hurry up and get ready and shit. I'll put your bags in my car but I don't want this to take up my whole day" his voice got quieter as Jean realized he was walking downstairs.  
__________

Jean pulled his red beanie over the back of his head and one more time checked his reflection of Joshua's car door window.  
"Dude, calm down your shaking" Josh laughs a little as he returns his eyes to the road.  
"I'm sorry.. Hey uh sorry to spring this on you but will you help me check in? I don't know how to do this" Jean rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

"Really? Okay. Whatever. I hope you know how long you'll be waiting to get on your plane anyway" his older brother finally pulled into a parking spot after searching for over five minutes.  
They walked to the entrance in silence, only noise was the zipper on Jean's backpack that clicked everytime he moved.

The bag check in process was quick. Although the line for security was long, it seemed to be moving fairly fast, Josh had told him.  
His brother pulled Jean into and hug and sighed.  
"I don't want you falling in love and then staying there" he teases.  
"Shut up" Jean punches his arm and smiles. 

"I'll see you" Josh waves before turning on his foot and walking back to the escalator.  
Jean took a deep breath, standing in line with his ticket info and his single backpack.  
__________

"Excuse me sir, we are landing now, please put on your seat belt" a sturdiest had lightly touched Jean's shoulder and awoken him to tell him the news.  
Jean quickly unlocks his phone. 

—You: landing. 

Jean had to put his phone away and buckle but he felt his phone vibrate with Eren's excitement. Jeans excitement had faded and it was put nervous horror.  
What if he got there and it's totally awkward? Or if Eren takes one look at Jean and completely remembers why they hated each other and goes right back to hating Jean? 

Jean attempted to push those thoughts out of his mind and let his head turn to look out the window.  
Arizona wasn't that flashy and colorful.  
Looked like a giant desert city, house roofs stretched for miles, occasionally being interrupted by tall buildings and such. 

When the airplane started going down, Jean's long lost hatred for landings resurfaced and nuzzled itself right in the pit of Jean's stomach.  
Sooner or later, he felt the bump of the wheels hitting the asphalt and his stomach slowly felt less sick, making room for more nervousness. 

The airplane came to a stop at the terminal and Jean slips his phone from his pocket. 

-Eren Jeager: Mikasa will be at your terminal but I'll be outside of security. They wanted me to take my tongue piercing out and I refused. 

No way. Eren has a tongue piercing!? That is not the thought Jean needed when he was in public. 

__________

The struggle of getting on the plane was difficult but once he was walking up the metal tunnel thing, whatever those are called, Jean couldn't be more conflicted with emotion.  
He saw Mikasa first, the blaring red lipstick he has always worn was perfectly painted on her lips. 

She looked up from her phone and smiles, not a happy smile, but a kind of 'holy shit, finally' kind of smile.  
"Jean!" She waves.  
Jean slings his bag over both shoulders and adjusted his beanie before walking beside an already moving Mikasa. 

"Eren won't stop texting me. So I just ignored him. It'll be a surprise." She did the natural thing to do in awkward situations, look at her phone.  
Jean couldn't be more freaked out.  
"So. How's School going?" He asks, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.  
Her shoulders shrug, causing the red fabric of his scarf to unravel a little. 

"School is school. Collage is a pain in the ass"  
"I bet" he chuckles a little.  
The walk wasn't that bad. It wasn't a very big security place but I guess that's why it was so packed. 

Jeans eyes couldn't stay in one place as he and Mikasa walk passed the people in line.  
Jeans eyes only stopped when he found what he was looking for. 

"Oh my go-"  
"Jean!" Eren runs from his seat he was lounging in to the boy.  
Jean was so shocked he couldn't move. It wasn't until the force of another body slamming into his that he wraps his arms around the boy and smiles.  
Jean couldn't help but notice it wasn't a normal hug that two guys would share. 

Eren's arms were tightened around Jeans neck and jeans hands rested at the small of the boys back.  
It was an amazing embrace.  
Mikasa obviously was smiling honestly now. Since Eren was crying and Jean was rubbing his back. They hadn't let go of each other. 

Jean didn't want to let go.


End file.
